Extended break from creation


On the 13th of February 2018 the day I’ve been dreading for the last couple of years finally came. After 17 and a half years of devoted companionship our little dog Chloe passed away. My usual way of dealing with this sort of thing is to jump head first into shooting and producing videos but this time I’ve been truly floored with this loss. 

This little dog was a real class act that got under the skin of everybody in my family in a way I never expected when we first got her. She was only a few months old when my ex wife and I picked her up. We seen an ad in a local paper “Free to good home”. Reluctantly I went with her to see these dogs, I wasn’t hot on the idea of getting a dog. We arrived at a house and the people brought us into their kitchen and opened a door to the utility room. A stampede of 6 little energy filled fur balls flew into the kitchen. As we were getting licked to death by these pups out of the corner of my eye I seen a 7th little nervous and timid brown and black pup was sitting on her own in the corner. Chloe. I asked about her and the owners said she was the runt of the litter and the rest were bullying her a bit. That was the decision made for me this little one was coming home with us. 

Chloe came out of her shell and became a little ball of energy too. She was never really a clingy puppy, she didn’t jump up on seats to sit with you but when my marriage ended and Chloe stayed with me She changed and became very clingy and attached to me. I couldn’t do anything without her trying her hardest to snuggle into me. It was almost as if she knew I was hurting and wanted to make me better. This is a quality in her I seen throughout her life. 

She had also gotten under the skin of an elderly neighbor of mine, one which I didn’t really know. We’d only spoken briefly in my time there. I remember when I’d decided to sell my house and return to my parents house I took Chloe there a few days before I was due to leave the house. The elderly neighbor asked me one afternoon what had happened the little dog. I explained she was ok and just away ahead of me. He was heartbroken thinking something bad had happened her. Turns out when I’d been at work he was taking Chloe for walks and giving her treats for months. I wasn’t aware of any of this. 

Chloe really began thrive at my parents house she became my brother Stephen’s shadow you’d never see one without the other. My father built her a little pen outside our house with him not being well and in chemotherapy we really couldn’t let Chloe get to close to him but he’d always slip down and give her treats and she’d Never pass the house when going for walks without stopping to check in with him. When he died she stopped wanting to stop at the house. Stephen told me the other day that a few days after his funeral He had walked up to the graveyard with her and let her off the lead. He’d stopped to talk to someone and when he looked to see what she was doing he said that Chloe was sitting at the side of our fathers grave looking at it. She wasn’t shown where the grave was located but somehow she’d found her way to it as if she knew where he was. 

It was a similar story with our mother and when she passed away Chloe’s little heart broke with ours. With both my mother and father passing away for a solid month Chloe had a tear rolling down her left cheek. I swear I’m not making any of this up.  

She was also incredibly gentle with children. She had boundless energy and had no problems in using it on fully grown people. She would knock you on your backside if you were not ready for her jumping up on you. But if my nephew or niece were to get close to her she would be incredibly gentle. I don’t know if it was simply a size thing or she knew if she used the same energy on them as she did with us she’d hurt them. Either way it wasn’t something we’d trained her to do. 

She was more than just a pet she was family. She knew exactly who needed her and where she needed to be. She helped me through the break up of my marriage. She helped my parents in their final days and she became my brothers exercise partner and best friend. 

I never expected the impact this little dog would have on us when I first seen her. 17 and half years was not enough time to prepare my brother and I for the loss of her. She’s left as big a hole in my lives as my parents did.  

It’s going to take me personally a long time to get past this. For now I need to take a little down time and a break from creating video content. I like to try and motivate and inspire with my content as best I can and right now my motivation isn’t high.

Chloe was the closest thing I had to having a child of my own and I feel as though I’ve lost a child not a dog. I know my brother Stephen feels exactly the same way. 

Rest well Chloe..

You did you duty well and we’ll love you always.